Thursday, March 6, 2008

Word Play

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me
laugh for five seconds and
think for ten minutes. ~ William Davis

I love to read. So my husband sent me the following in email, and I thought I'd share it. It's just too funny!

My favorite is the one about the smog in Los Angeles. Which one is yours?


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was

resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little

behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a

small medium at large.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a

hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism,

it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was

fully recovered.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair,

she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

:-) Until next time...


Nicole said...

Those were hilarious!

Thank you for your sweet note yesterday. You made me so happy!!! :D

Kathy said...

I confess I had to reread a couple, but they are so clever! I love things that make me smile and feel good...just like taking in a big dose of sunshine!

Have I ever told you how much I love the Mitford Series? If I have, well, it's worth repeating!!!

Ready Maid said...

Thanks for a great laugh, and a backdoor introduction to your DH! He sounds precious, too.

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

Id have to say It's a tie between the baseball and the santa clauses.

Good for a pre weekend chuckle!