Word Play

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me

laugh for five seconds and

think for ten minutes. ~ William Davis

I love to read. So my husband sent me the following in email, and I thought I'd share it. It's just too funny!

My favorite is the one about the smog in Los Angeles. Which one is yours?

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was

resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little

behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a

small medium at large.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a

hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism,

it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was

fully recovered.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair,

she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

:-) Until next time...