Have you ever experienced that feeling of knowing that something about you has changed? It's almost as if you can feel something click, and you know that things inside you are different. I've had this feeling a couple of times these last few days.
The best way I can describe it is to say that I feel like my winter is over.
Turning 50 last year really did a number on my head. I'm rather embarrassed to admit that because it sounds so clichéd. But darn, if it isn't true! I turn 51 this month, and it's time to move on from the introspection of this past year, and get on with my life.
I don’t have a clear feeling yet of where this will take me, but I have a much stronger sense of what I don't want to do. I don’t want to squander so much of my energies on things like the computer and the television. I don’t want to feel stressed and over-extended (and I'm the only one who can control that!) Most importantly, I don’t want to waste time beating myself up -- about anything. I've done that for as long as I can remember, and I'm over it.
The winter of my discontent has ended (with apologies to Shakespeare!) Turning 50 made me face the reality that I have more years behind me than I have in front of me. So if not now, when? I choose to spend whatever precious time I have left doing good where I can and finally feeling at peace with myself.
Until next time...